Once upon a time... a story about starting a good story!

'Once upon a time', there was a really bad idea.

It probably began with a noble idea and got lost somewhere after the words, 'Once upon a time...'

Timelines. Chronologies. I am sure they work really well in some forms of learning and tuition. But they kill effective communication.

Starting your words with an emphasis on origins is the worst way to communicate a message. It puts a big emphasis on something other than the point of your story or message.

The thing we need to say is usually the first thing we need to say... not a preparatory context that details the 'diarised' recounting of an event. Backgrounding should stay out of the frame when it comes to the start of effective communication.

As a journalist, I was always taught to get to the point. The 'how' and the 'lead-up' should follow the headline and vital points of the introduction. It is a principle that works so well in all types of communication, especially emails and phone calls.

PS: Once upon a time, there was a story that was way too boring to continue. The end.

'I've been meaning to tell you...'

There is nothing more frightening than to hear someone make the following statement:

'I've been meaning to tell you... '

Of course, such confrontational language is almost as intimidating as:

'I am not sure how to say this nicely, but... '

How about another torturesome introduction to a 'friend's' comments:

'I don't think there's any better way to say this... '

And coming in fourth place on the list of worst antecedents of all time is another chilling comment:

'I wasn't going to say it, but... '

I think the best course of action, when confronted with such language, is to run. Fast and far. Get away before the speaker can 'share a little home truth'. Of course, the fact that I have encountered such phrases might tell you something about me, or at least about my 'friends'. It may actually suggest that I have honest and caring friends who are willing to instruct me and guide me through the less-refined elements of my character. Either that, or I surround myself with honest people.

The truth is, no-one uses those phrases around me very much at all. But it doesn't stop me fearing them.

If anything, such fear makes me a little cautious about my language -- the ways I approach others with comments and opinions. It makes me question my approaches, my introductions, my communication.

It makes me think before I speak.